Releasing Hostility for better Self-Healthcare

Releasing Hostility for better Healthcare  podcast is about changing language gears from the way people communicate where they live work and play when dealing with hostility or a hostile environment; to equate a different language (mindset) of thought and behavior interaction to lessen hostility levels and bring forth a calmer approach in dealing with situations that are hostile whether they are physical or mental in nature.

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It's About How You Connect - The Mind

Alway's Keeping it Real - Coach Brenda

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to Redesign and Brand Your Life. I am your host, Brenda Robert, Life Coach and Life Skills Author. However, many people just call me Coach Brenda. As part of my disclaimer, let me mention that in all of my podcasts concerning all topics of my podcast, it is noted to all listeners and followers of my podcasts now and into the future that my company, Brenda Rucker Coaching LLC, is not and does not institute that you, the listeners and followers, entertain any contents of my podcast or other creative material. If you choose to do so, you do so at your own discretion. If you are a new listener, check out the introductory episode where you get to learn a little more about me and my business. Visit my website for full terms and conditions at www.lifeskillsauthor.com. Today's topic is on releasing hostility for better self-health care. Before we dive into our discussion today, I want to give my apologies for being vacant with my podcast for a while as I have been away for a bit due to an injury, but I am back in session now. I also want to mention that the two new additions I mentioned some time ago, which is a self-motivated Life Power Up program and another program concerning redesigning your body health pattern, is still set for implementation on my website. I do not have a specific landing date yet, and I will not get into details on either of those programs that I created right now, but stay tuned to my website and my other social media platforms for updates concerning these programs. Again, as we ease into this topic, I always present a basic content outline to not only help those who need to read a transcript to be able to follow the content I present, but for others who may want to use the transcript as a future reference as well. The outline points for releasing hostility for better self-health care begin with defining hostility in a broad spectrum. The next one would be why should you care about hostility in your life? Situations that peradventure heightened hostility. Why releasing hostility may improve your health, how to strategize in releasing hostility, and what that means short-term and long term for where you live, work, and play, and language choices that help you to immediately reassess before you speak or act that can provide better self-health care. So, what is hostility? Hostility has so many faces in our lives that it's a little difficult to plug it into just one definitive area of life. So, noting this and to keeping things basic, let's just say that hostility can be a type of behavior, action, a derogatory spoken language that can hurt or defile, and in some cases, lower self-esteem in another individual. Now, why should you care about hostility in your life? That's a loaded question. However, it does require your attention due to the infinite ways hostility manifests itself in areas of your life that will become distorted and even ruin someone or something or even you. To name a few areas you may not have equated to hostility is dysfunction and stress in your relationships, be it friends, family, acquaintances, and even these same dynamics personally connected with you concisely where you live, work, and play, including your health, which is physically and mentally, in that perspective. Hostility is most heightened in what areas? It lives and breathes where you live, work, and play. All of us have experienced the feeling of hostility, whether it came from a low level of triggers or past hurts, or to a more heightening sense. Some have experienced hostility to an even higher level where, like I said earlier, hurt, be it physical or mental, has occurred, not only to a person or people, but to the person showing hostile behavior. Take into consideration traumas that may have happened to you at any time in your life and not just during childhood. These traumas may build up over time within you, presenting a cause and effect later towards others like trust issues, fears of abandonment, anger issues, and more. Examples that I am briefly discussing here are typical to most environments, and you may be able to relate to that. In the workplace, trying to meet deadlines, feeling insecure in a job position, language barriers, cultural components, where you may not understand how someone from another country communicates, and the language verbal or nonverbal is mistaken as something derogatory or insulting. Relationship insecurities where you may not feel you are good enough. Peer pressure, which for this one is not just what some may think is related only to kids that attend school, it happens with adults as well. Anytime conflicts surface and are not addressed appropriately, and with this can develop miscommunication that further heightens any feelings a person may be feeling like aggression, frustration, anger, irritability. When you consider what I mentioned earlier about why you should care about hostility and why you should truly look it in the face, is that even though the definition of hostility in singularity is something derogatory, it doesn't always mean hostility is hostile. What I am saying is that hostility may indeed improve your health, but performance of it must be with a strategic twist of applications. It's just like stress, which is a sidekick to hostility. Stress is all around us and we walk daily with good stress and stress that is bad for our overall health. If you were to practice regrouping your hostility into a more satisfactory communication style, just like it sidekicks stress, this choice can be helpful because both hostility and stress can exist at the same time, each feeding off the other. How you manage your hostility also manages your stress. From this perspective, releasing hostility may improve your thoughts and behaviors, which in turn may help lower some health risks like blood pressure, headaches, pain, eating poorly, depression, and more. Please note that this statement does not in any way suggest that hostility is not hurtful or remedied easily, or that the person showing hostility does not require help from a mental health professional andor requires medication in the same. Nor does this statement imply in any way that I am a mental health professional, as this information is purely educational, informative, motivational, and inspiring in nature. Let's move forward on how to strategize hostility and what that means short-term and long-term for you live, work, and play. Once you begin ironing out details and identifying causes, then there may be viable solutions. I say possible because this is deep-rooted work on yourself and being intentional about getting better and learning how to maintain that status is important. There is no quickness or overnight remedy for this. For starters, begin with this sample assessment of questions to help you develop some understanding about your hostility. Be sure to have a tablet ready to write down your answers and take devoted time to this as well. Take a good assessment of where you live, work, and play and what's going on in those areas. That's the first thing to do. Take a good assessment of where you live, work, and play and what's going on in those areas. Next, what triggers are you finding that may relate to a higher intensity of hostility in some areas as opposed to others? Do you notice any overlapping of triggers? Assess the overlapping triggers. Identify them. What do you notice about them? How have you managed triggers in the past? Now please note that if the outcome of past triggers were negative, what could you have done differently? What language choices could have been more encouraging and helpful? See yourself in these situations with clarity and note what you see. And lastly, did you seek professional help with your hostility triggers or even high stress episodes that may have brought on some of the symptoms I mentioned earlier and you reacted on those feelings? Again, take your time with these questions as they may help you develop a clearer picture of the situations, how you were in those situations, and so on, regarding the temperament of your triggers. Now, let's absorb all this from a short-term perspective. Working a short-term redesign means you are going in fully prepared to stop the feeling at hand, your mindset and language choices, to whatever it may be, and change gears to alleviate yourself from the triggers. Re-evaluate where you are with it and what may have truly caused it, and now choose words that may help lower the hostility spoken. What you are doing here is taking what you performed earlier with the sample assessment questions and replacing every situation you found with a different language choice and choosing better, constructive, non-demeaning words. Write it all down. Now, regarding long-term options means you are in for an extended stay because of the behavioral components. Much of what happens here is like how someone changes their manifestation of daily living, such as redesigning a better diet plan to become healthier. Devising a long-term plan means to speak differently, yet blend in positive behavioral aptitudes that may prove to be more beneficial, such as lowering your tone from a hostile approach to a more calmer, inviting tone, understanding what you have control over and what you do not, and learn how to work in your lane where you live, work, and play. In other words, respect the boundaries, regulations, and policies wherever they meet you and redesign yourself to behave more strategically, where you are not taking the situation, words, or gestures from another person personally as if it's an attack directed toward you. If it is an attack towards you, how will you decide to unpack your response? This is where you reflect back on what you learned about yourself in a hostile mode, which in turn can help you sort out how to respond or react to these types of attacks toward you that do not have to be physically or mentally negative for you or the person or people supplying the negativity. This will take time and much practice. However, with professional resources in place and your intentions to become less hostile can help a long way. Now, the incorporation of these short and long-term redesigns sets the stage for you to speak a new language of communication and thus render the levels of stress, triggers of hostility, whether it is physical, mental, or deeply rooted emotionally. Language choices are up next to help you start redirecting hostility into something more viable, constructive, loving, and respectful of where you live, work, and play. This also means learning to love yourself during and well after this redesigned path. Language choices to help you immediately reassess before speaking or responding can eventually improve your health and how you see yourself. The language choices I am providing are purely set as examples with negative connotation and positive changeovers that may closely relate to where people live, work, and play. Even you. The first one, I did nothing wrong. In this example of hostile exclamation, you are deflecting faults away from yourself. Instead, you say, I did not feel I did anything wrong, but let's go over it again and find solutions. Another example, you better watch yourself. In this example of a hostile situation, you're screaming and directly placing a warning of due harm to someone because they may have said something that was miscommunicated on the receiving channel. Instead, you say, Would you mind repeating that? I am not sure I heard you correctly. Another example, you are just lazy or you are incompetent. In this example of a derogatory hostile statement, you are demeaning and belittling the person regarding how they may be carrying out a directive. Instead, you say, let's pause for a minute and I will go over the directive with you and show you step by step to help make that process a little easier. If you have any questions later, please ask. Instead, you say, I appreciate you bringing this up again because I have had some time to think about it too, and want us to come up with a solution that we feel mutual. Another example, you did a great job. Didn't think you had it in you. This example is an undertone hostile statement that again can be misconstrued. You exhibit cynicism with your tone, which relays an insulting message to the person that you are speaking to, that you either have or never had any confidence in that person. Instead, you say, Hey, you did a great job. I am glad to have you as my team partner. One other example? You know what? Let me explain this process to you in simple terms. In this example, your choice of words and how you phrased them with a disapproving and unbelief tone sets the relationship automatically as hostile. Instead, you say, So that this process is handled with efficiency, tell me, are you a hands-on learner, quick study, or you learn best from being shown the first time? This will help me know how we can work together and get the job done. So there you have it. Some examples that may help you better understand the depths of hostility and where some statements spoken to other people may seem innocent or not meant to be innocent from the beginning. However, the key is to assess if you are being hostile and how you need to refrain from that behavior and become more disciplined in your language choice of communication. But remember, hostility is not just what is spoken or even written. It can be done with certain gestures that can mimic hostility, and that takes it to another whole level. As I have mentioned before, personal development and change are of utmost importance because these two areas overlap everything where you live, work, and play. I can help you work on yourself in the following ways, specifically regarding hostility management. One part of working on yourself is for you to be aware of your hostility levels. Own up to them as a problem that needs immediate repair. If you have conflicts with manifesting this step, I can help you learn how to challenge your thoughts and behavior with a more viable resolution. Another proclamation that fits into any dynamic of life is to determine if you desire value and beneficial aspects in your life. If you are not sure how to curate this proclamation, again, I can help you with this. As your coach, working from an NLP perspective, is to separate intentions or purpose behind an action from the action itself. Change comes with taking responsibility and being intentional and knowing where your resources are to help you is a plus. One of the most important takeaways from this podcast topic is acceptance to managing your hostility and whether your need to help falls within the professional guidelines of life coaching or your needs require a mental health professional. So if the areas I covered in the podcast discussion today on releasing hostility for better self-health care have hit home with you, and you feel that your needs at this time do not require the assistance of a mental health professional, then contact me for a free consult. C mail contact information in my podcast shows and transcripts. You can also find it on my website. So as a recap to my disclaimer concerning all topics of my podcast, noted to all listeners and followers of my podcast now and into the future, that my company, Brenda Robert Coaching LLC, is not and does not institute that you, listeners and followers, entertain any contents of my podcast or other creative material. If you choose to do so, you do so at your own discretion. Furthermore, this podcast may contain copyrighted material such as images and video clips or links that are used under the principles of fair use for educational purposes. The links provided are for your convenience only. All rights to third party content belong to their respective copyright holders. Brenda Rockert Coaching LLC is not responsible for the content or accuracy of external sites and the inclusion of any link. Does not imply our endorsement. View full terms and conditions at www.lifeskillsauthor.com. Feel free to follow me and learn about my other coaching genres and any upcoming events. Check out my extended creative content material for more tidbits, learning resources, motivation, and inspiration. For Instagram, look me up under LifeSkills Author. For Pinterest, look me up under LifeSkills Author. For my YouTube channel, Brand Your Language, look up my handle called at Anywhere Life Skills. For clarity, it is the symbol at. Then type as one word Anywhere Life Skills. Until our next podcast is How Do You Connect the Mind. This is Coach Brenda, Life Coach and Life Skills Author. Always keeping it real. Thank you all for listening.